Facebook Music Interests: Where Are You?

Something I’ve long noticed on Facebook, or anywhere that allows a person to list their favorite music, is the way that people present their favorites.  I think it’s an fascinating study in pop psychology.  As it is, I’m still waiting to get the motivation to write my “Psychology of Facebook” book.  My qualifications?  Well, my dad is a psychologist.  And I have a Facebook account.

Below are the niches that I’ve thrown together.  Where do you fall on the scale?

The Pi Beta Phi
Your musical interests are long and seemingly have no connection.  Your favorite artists are dictated by whatever is accessible, either by Top 40 radio or MTV.  Using an array of asterisks, squigglies and random capitalizations, you list Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake, Maroon 5, Sugarland, anything you can dance to, and, when you’re feeling chill, Jack Johnson. You also *love* Rob Thomas.
Your Facebook photo: You’re either wearing a bikini or holding a domestic light beer.  Possibly both.
Possible Facebook status: “Whitney is excited to see her GIRLS TONIGHT!!!!”

The Awkward Male Appreciator
As the name indicates, this is a male who has musical tastes that would cause Rick Astley to wince.  This fellow lists an assortment of artists, and nothing is too left-field for him.  A sample assortment could include: Nickelback, Katherine McPhee, Coldplay, Christina Aguilera, Garth Brooks, Good Charlotte, Michael Jackson, that one Barenaked Ladies song, Kid Rock, Bon Jovi, Phil Collins and the Jonas Brothers.
Your Facebook photo: Something that seems a little out-of-place, much like your music tastes.  Perhaps you’re hiking in the woods and we can’t see your face very well.  Or maybe you are inexplicably standing by an exhibit of dinosaur bones at a mueseum.
Possible Facebook status: “Jason is I am getting ready for my dentist appointment today.”

The “I-Like-Everything” Girl
Your musical interests usually start off with the phrase “I like pretty much everything,” followed by a list of eight country-music artists.
Your Facebook photo: Either a yearbook-style headshot or a picture of your daughter.
Possible Facebook status: “Stacy is sick and tired of all the drama goin on around here.”

The Inclusive Eclectic
You read enough Pitchfork Media to know what’s considered to be cool, and you want everyone to know that you know what’s hip.  Hence the arduous length of your “favorite music,” which includes at least 80 artists and is updated every other day.  Vampire Weekend, Fleet Foxes, and Bon Iver are musts.  At least for this week.
Your Facebook photo: You, silhouetted against a brick wall, next to a table with tea lights on it.
Possible Facebook status: “Evan is engrossed in the sounds of the latest Portishead album.  Check it out.”

The Nose-Thumbing Snob
You read enough Pitchfork to know that you hate it, as well as the people who pledge allegiance to its ratings.  So you’re ahead of the curve, all the time.  Sufjan Stevens?  Please.  You knew about him back in the late-1990s when he was with Marzuki, and you’re so over him.
Your Facebook photo: Blurry because you intentionally dragged the shutter.
Possible Facebook status: Psh.  You don’t do Facebook statuses.

The Genius
You’ve above even the highest level of music elitism.  You look down on the nose-thumbing snobs and their attempts at alienation.  In fact, your music taste is so elite that you’ve actually come back around to popular music, to the point where you list only one artist on your Facebook profile: Chubby Checkers.  You then get into fights with people at parties and simply say, “If you don’t think Chubby Checkers was a musical genius, I can’t help you.”  You will also make arguments for Roy Orbison, The Fifth Dimension and Rupert Holmes.
Your Facebook photo: An ironic photo of a hilarious refrigerator magnet that you found at a thrift store.
Possible Facebook status: “Emerson is beyond the square root of 3.14159.  Lock it.”

Watch out for subsets of these groups, including the rarely-seen, semi-ironic ’80s fanatic; don’t underestimate the night-dwelling Dream Theater lover, either.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to listen to Magnum Axiom of the Rabid Vapors.  Have you heard of them?  Right.  I didn’t think so.

Tags: facebook, Music